SMAUG: Why are you here, to steal stuff?
BILBO: Uh… no way. I came here to look upon your magnificence.
SMAUG: Oh. Wow. Well, I, what do you think?
BILBO: Amazing. Better than I’d heard. Superfragilistic. I have to say, I have my doubts, I thought that no dragon could top that cute dragon from How To Train Your Dragon, or the classic Puff the Magic Dragon, but baby… you’re number one!
SMAUG: Oh, I, really, wow, you didn’t even get me from my good side, let me turn around, how you like me now?
BILBO: Oh my God that side’s even better. You know what would be awesome? If I could just follow you around for the rest of your life telling you how fantastic you are. We could solve crimes! Mainly you would solve crimes and I would tell you how fantastic you are.
SMAUG: Go on, go on… wait a second! That’s ridiculous! Dragons do not solve crimes!
BILBO: Are you certain about that, because I sure feel busted.